Mind Blogging. Mind Boggling.

By 2009, after many hard hours in the cricket pitch, I had perfected the art of taking runs off yorkers. Bowlers would pitch it into the blockhole, and I would successfully pinch a couple or sometimes even a boundary, using my novel methods.

Then in 2010, I went to Manhattan, NYC. I joined a cricket club there, and thought that after proving my mettle in India, the American bowlers would be easy pickings. But guess what- when they dug it into the blockhole- I struggled to get it away! In fact, I was bowled on most occasions when they pitched it there.

You know why? Well, turns out these were not the same old yorkers I had mastered- I was facing New Yorkers.

I was told to consult this magazine called New Yorker, to learn how to cope with this lethal twist to a foe I had earlier outsmarted.

I am happy to report that after my readings of the magazine, and many hours of net practice, I was finally able to crack this puzzle, and was able to score many runs off the New Yorkers. 

If Satya Nadella can fondle a Kookaburra cricket ball at work during his conference calls, I need a sporty accessory too -I got this friendly looking 1 kg dumb bell as a companion at work and home.



Further, I will have to take it in to work. Now Himalayas (Deoriatal) beckons in two weeks, and lugging this boy around for the next two weeks in my Samsonite backpack will be good practice for my back.

On Saturdays, it will help my upper body get some action during the Carter road runs- leg muscles do so much work while arms are flailing along uselessly during all those 5Ks. Shoulders, tricpes and biceps were crying for some action- and I have given them this gift. With the cellphone strapped to my arm and this red fella at my hand, I will be the coolest cat running Carter road.

They should just give a 1 kg dumb bell today to all "knowledge workers" to keep at their table. Part of induction kid. All the upper body exercise we get is our fingers- going pat-pat-patter on the keyboard. This one's way better than a stress ball.

Think your cubicle is a cage? Well, get CAGEY at work, then.

"Yo, da. Well you are?"

"Why so passive, dude? Whatever, well I am"

"You know, a mark of intelligence is a focus on the message, and not the voice that delivers it"

"But I thought GMAT would have taught you to be active. And look at you, slacking on that stinking old bean bag"

"The bean bag stinks? You stink, dude"

"Ok, I'll ignore the voice"

"Then you will see that the content is the greeting of Jedi master Yo Da, who is quite a passive being. God bless him, he's dead, the old green fella. And don't talk about GMAT. So I was driving, yesterday, and I was thinking of this essay on Culture-Shock I've got to write. So when I went to TEXAS to visit an oil factory, I took some time out to take a look around"

"I know why you want to hate me"

"Cos hate is all the world has ever seen lately"

"And we stop there. As it is with most songs, all I remember is the two sentences leading up to the main tune. So, I am taking a look around. I walk down this dusty, deserted road, and there's this bar, I push open the swing doors with a loud creak, and everyone stops talking and stares at me. I get very nervous, and walk up to the bartender, a big guy with a massive hat who frowns down suspiciously at me. I try to say "One Bea" in a deep voice, but it comes out all squeaky and I say "One Biarrr" in an extreme-Indian accent. He goes down below the counter, comes back up, and the next thing I know I am staring down the long twin-barrel of a shot gun. How's that for a Culture Shock?"  

"We are livin' in Amerika! It's wunderbar!"

"So you think it's a good culture shock essay?"

"Wunderbar."

"Thanks. But anyway, at this point I crashed into the backside of a tractor"

"Oh, your 800 is busted?"

"Oh no, the tractor was carrying a lot of wheat, which stuck out a meter and a half out the back. I went in softly into the wheat and my car is totally fine. Just that the windscreen got a fine film of wheat dust- I had to stop to the side and wipe it clean"

"Baleful incident. Did you taste the wheat dust?"

"No, actually it wasn't really wheat dust, it was more like plain dust. But you know, the wheat cushioned the impact to such an extent that the farmer who was driving never realized that something had hit him- he just drove on. It was a blue Mahindra tractor. But the blue was brown because of all the wheat dust" 

"This is nothing da. I fell off my cycle yesterday. I haven't cycled for ages, and I started too fast in standing position, and my foot got stuck in the pedal, and the cycle tipped over to the side. I hurt my knee real bad. Now I can't cycle again, for ages. And when I cycle then, I'll probably fall off again"

"Vicious cycle. But if you were hurt, how did you get back home?"

"Oh, I was already home. It was a stationary cycle. This happened in my bedroom. It was in the afternoon, I was really sleepy, so I just lifted myself to the bed and just slept off. I dreamt I was playing football, and the opposition defender tackled me real bad on the knee- and when I woke up my knee was hurting real bad"

"All right, bro, I should get going, gotto work on my Culture Shock essay. Tell me if you get some good ideas"

"Ok da, see you. Happy new year"

"Yeah dude, wish you and your family a happy and prosperous new year"

"You too. I hope you all prosper"

THE END.

Credits: S for the "you stink" way of thinking.